nubian speaks…
nubian on May 21st 2007
1. i did not quit blogging because of the racisms of the blogosphere. i am in school, i am a filmmaker and i have a number of other projects to tend to that did not/do not fit in with blogging. the article in colorlines, incorrectly stated that i left because of an article at feministing and the general racisms of the blogosphere–however, that isn’t true. at the time of the interview of the article (which took place in september of 2006–way before i stopped blogging), i did mention i was taking a break because of the drama and hostility associated with blogging, however, i returned and eventually quit on december 18th due to my rigorous coursework in my doctoral program—not solely because of racism (although, it did make my leave much, much easier).
2. when i was interviewed at feministing and saw the copious amounts of racial hatred spewed at me, i emailed both jessica and celina to remove the infamous interview. jessica told me it was up to celina to remove it and celina told me it was up to jessica to remove it. sadly, i felt that both of them intentionally told me different things in order to avoid taking down the interview. even at my request to remove it, they kept the interview up and subsequently closed comments. i cannot and will not support a “feminist” site that willingly allowed me to be publicly humiliated.
3. although i have stepped away from blogging, i do, from time to time, check in on things. it is depressing and upsetting to see that nothing has changed. the same ol’ same ol’. women of color are continuously attacked for speaking their mind. white feminists continue to “run things.” and lesbians (of all colors)….i don’t even know where we are…still don’t seem to be a part of “feminism.”
4. i still think full frontal feminism is wack, and no, i have not read the book. so what.
i’m glad i gave up calling myself a feminist a while ago.
anyways, that’s all i had to say. stay up BFP’s, BlackAmazon’s, Shannon’s, Sylvia’s, Elle’s…and all the other bright women of color who continue to raise hell.
peace
-nubian
Filed in Uncategorized |
In response to the ongoing discussion of my Feministing interview “Blogging While Black” with Nubian:
1. Jessica was away on vacation and I was away from my computer the weekend I posted Nubian’s interview with me. I honestly did not think Nubian would receive the hateful comments that she did.
When I came back from being out all day to find all those comments, I emailed Nubian telling her my feelings about the situation. One, I did not want her voice forced out because of a group of hateful commentors.
I felt the need to preserve journalistic integrity. I’m a journalist, and I posted Nubian’s interview as a journalist.
I posted the interview on a blog that is part of the uncensored blogosphere.
I also thought the comments she received were a testament to exactly what she said in her interview with me. And likewise, that she wouldn’t view reactions to her interview with Feministing any differently than the comments she received on her own blog.
I emailed Nubian 3 times, including my concerns but never received a response. As things escalated between Nubian and the interview commentors, I decided to stop incoming comments.
2. I decided to interview Nubian because I read on her blog that she was considering quitting her blog because of the numerous racists comments she received. I was a fan of her blog and wanted to help bring her more support. She was aware of this and agreed to do a Feministing interview.
Shortly after the Feministing interview, I interviewed Nubian for a feature I was writing for ColorLines magazine on people of color bloggers and the particular challenges we face. She voluntarily agreed to be interviewed and we talked at length about what went down at Feministing. I had also corresponded with her at length over email. She told me over the phone that she understood where I was coming from, and that in hind sight, the comments she received did illustrate for the masses what exactly she and many other people of color bloggers go through on a daily basis. She said there were no hard feelings.
As for my quotation of her in my ColorLines feature, after the Feministing interview Nubian had said that that experience largely influenced her decision not to blog. She also did say that she was extremely busy with grad school, making blogging even more not worth her while. The feature was about the frustrations many people of color bloggers face and Nubian knew this and agreed to give her personal testimony to support this thesis. I was grateful for her testimony.
3. Nearly a year later, I find myself having to publicly testify that I am a woman of color who is committed to other women of color while also remaining responsible to my craft as a professional journalist.
During our numerous phone conversations last year, where Nubian had ample opportunity to say exactly what she believed to be the turn of events that occurred, she did not. Instead we laughed and spoke warmly to each other, which makes the recent turn of events one year later very surprising.
I mean no hard feelings to Nubian.
I dedicate my life to social justice journalism and have a history of writing and activism to prove it.
I hope this helps to clarify my intentions and Feministing’s.
Nubian, I’m glad to see you back even if it is only for this one post. I hope all is well with you. You are missed by so many people. Would you mind emailing me at dmj618 at gmail dot com? I have a private question to ask.
Donna
I hug you !!!!!!!! I miss you * tugs on your sleeve*
Miss you too. Being a doctoral student must be super hard
Hope things are going well with school. The weather should be getting better now… I’m glad you’re still around the “blogosphere” even if it just means a few posts.
Take care of yourself.
In response to the ongoing discussion of my Feministing interview “Blogging While Black” with Nubian:
1. Jessica was away on vacation and I was away from my computer the weekend I posted Nubian’s interview with me. I honestly did not think Nubian would receive the hateful comments that she did.
When I came back from being out all day to find all those comments, I emailed Nubian telling her my feelings about the situation. One, I did not want her voice forced out because of a group of hateful commentors.
I felt the need to preserve journalistic integrity. I’m a journalist, and I posted Nubian’s interview as a journalist.
I posted the interview on a blog that is part of the uncensored blogosphere.
I also thought the comments she received were a testament to exactly what she said in her interview with me. And likewise, that she wouldn’t view reactions to her interview with Feministing any differently than the comments she received on her own blog.
I emailed Nubian 3 times, including my concerns but never received a response. As things escalated between Nubian and the interview commentors, I decided to stop incoming comments.
2. I decided to interview Nubian because I read on her blog that she was considering quitting her blog because of the numerous racists comments she received. I was a fan of her blog and wanted to help bring her more support. She was aware of this and agreed to do a Feministing interview.
Shortly after the Feministing interview, I interviewed Nubian for a feature I was writing for ColorLines magazine on people of color bloggers and the particular challenges we face. She voluntarily agreed to be interviewed and we talked at length about what went down at Feministing. I had also corresponded with her at length over email. She told me over the phone that she understood where I was coming from, and that in hind sight, the comments she received did illustrate for the masses what exactly she and many other people of color bloggers go through on a daily basis. She said there were no hard feelings.
As for my quotation of her in my ColorLines feature, after the Feministing interview Nubian had said that that experience largely influenced her decision not to blog. She also did say that she was extremely busy with grad school, making blogging even more not worth her while, but my inclusion of this detail needed to be edited out for word length. The feature was about the frustrations many people of color bloggers face and Nubian knew this and agreed to give her personal testimony to support this thesis.
3. Nearly a year later, I find myself having to publicly testify that I am a woman of color who is committed to other women of color while also remaining responsible to my craft as a professional journalist.
During our numerous phone conversations last year, where Nubian had ample opportunity to say exactly what she believed to be the turn of events that occurred, she did not. Instead we laughed and spoke warmly to each other, which makes the recent turn of events one year later very surprising.
I mean no hard feelings to Nubian.
I dedicate my life to social justice journalism and have a history of writing and activism to prove it.
I hope this helps to clarify my intentions and Feministing’s.
You are missed. Even by non-commenters like me. Glad to hear you’ve got lots of other great things going on.
I’m glad you cleared stuff up, and I’m also glad you’re focusing on your school stuff. Blogging does seem to get in the way.
You keep raising hell in academia.
And thennnn when you’re donnnnne come back and blog plz :-p
“when i was interviewed at feministing and saw the copious amounts of racial hatred spewed at me,”
They sure seem to be all about copious spewing and hate, and the censorship of views that do not fit their mainstream newspeak feminism.
I recently noticed a comment on that blog about your blog, and they are debating whether or not they are speaking for a “white” viewpoint, and tokenizing others that blog with them, holding up their ‘black card’ and maintaining that the views presented there are not necessarily “white”.
They embody white womens feminism right down to the teebacks and I bet not one of them over there is anything but middle class and priviledged, which is the true ‘white’.
I admire you when you say “i gave up calling myself a feminist,” because that tells me you have grown into something much more insightful.
I’ve really missed your voice. Be happy.
nubian, I’ve thought so much about you over the last few months. I keep wondering if I’d ever accidentally ran into you in chicago (which is just down the road from me), would I be able to adequately tell you how much respect you have earned from so many. I know that sounds sentimental, but I’m a sentimental old fool, so I get to say stuff like that. I too am glad to see you, even if it’s just for a quick visit, although it sucks that the circumstances are what they are.
Keep doing what you gotta do, with much strength. And good luck in school and with all you projects.
it’s so good to “hear” you
glad to see you back, even if it’s just for this.
best of luck with your studies.
Good to hear from you. My offer for dinner still stands. So whenever you want to hit the town and take a breather, let me know. Stay strong chica.
nubian, do you mind if I ask some questions? I’m seeing two *really* different versions of events here. I’m confused and I don’t want to jump in and point fingers, I just need clarification.
Celina claims to have sent you three emails explaining her decision not to take the article down, which she says you didn’t answer. Did you get them or was it a conscious decision not to reply?
She is claiming that you two laughed about the whole thing after you agreed that keeping the article up was best. Did that just never happen? I’m lost on how she can claim you thought she was in the right, while you claim she was in the wrong.
You are saying you felt humiliated as a woman of color due to Celina’s choice to not take down the interview. And she says she had no idea you felt this way until today. Did you ever tell her before now? Did you ever tell anyone?
I’m just having such a hard time with this. It’s almost like you two are describing two very different situations (assuming I’m perciving things correctly). Can you think of any reason why that would be?
i contacted celina initially to remove the email. she told me that it was up to jessica to remove it because jessica runs the site. i then contacted jessica who said she could not remove it and it was up to celina to take it down because she is in charge of the interviews–why both of them told me different things, is still unclear to me to this day. after getting the run around from both of them, i repeatedly posted in the comment section of the interview itself to remove it–neither of them wanted to. it doesn’t matter if celina sent three emails saying she wasn’t going to take down the interview, my contention, is that, both of them told me different things and that the comments were closed after i was repeatedly castigated and humilated by a number of folks who visit feministing–even to the point where i was accused of impersonating another blogger. but yes, it was a conscious decision not to reply after i was told different things.
and yes, after the fact, in september we did talk about the “incident” over the phone and at that point we decided that in some ways the interview served a purpose (that i am not clear about yet and probably won’t ever be), but the goal of the conversation was not to only discuss the interview on feministing. and although i did not voice my opinions of the way it was handled at that moment (because it was a few months after the feministing interview took place and if it wasn’t addressed then, why would it be addressed now/september?). however, i have been reading conversations in the blogosphere lately, which mention my name and have provoked me to respond.
i just do not understand why jessica or celina would tell me different things about how their site is run. neither of them took responsibility for the comment policy of their site, and it seemed that neither of them wanted to deal with their commenters because, lets face it, feministing is an extremely popular site and my interview sparked controversy and perhaps, it helped to increase readership. i could possibly be completely wrong and that both of them really didn’t have the authority to take down the interview, but i think it is fishy, that i was told completely different things and eventually told that the interview will stand.
Well nice to know you are alive and well. I read the Colorlines article and thought it was seriously lacking. Seriously.
Anyway. Good luck on the studies.
How many more attempts to excuse their behavior can they make?
I mean, you said, Take down the interview and they didn’t? They talk amongst themselves about authority to do this and do that instead of listening to the person who’s being humiliated? They hung you out to dry. And they suggest that they have no control over their comment threads? With the net result that they give voice to racists? Just more of the same from that world. They’d rather give racists a forum and increase their readership than take responsibility for their actions.
But they’re usually so quick to censure differing opinions, that when they don’t–when they let racists speak openly–that really shows you where they’re coming from.
Sorry if this is incoherent. I’m just disgusted.
I’m delurking to say I’m sorry to see you go. I look forward to seeing your films.
No, your interview didn’t really increase our traffic that much. Our hard-work has increased our traffic.
I completely understand your frustration nubian, but what is bothering me is that you are giving this impression that we intentionally maligned you, when you have to know we didn’t do that. That was not our intention.
We are very sorry that you were treated this way at Feministing. We are very sorry and upset when any of us get treated this way. We didn’t have a comments policy then, but we are very different now. Again, our apologies.
Thank you for clarifying things Nubian, you’re missed.
oops, email=interview.
in comment #16.
Nubian, thanks for pointing out as well that lesbians of all colors are sorely missing from the feminist landscape.
I wish you well, and I wish you’d come back.
Hey nubian, thanx for the clarification. It’s good to see you, even if only for this short time.
Nubian its a shame that you still have to deal with this even after you’re gone. I don’t read feministing so I was completely oblivious to this all. But, just wanted to say that I miss reading your blog. You’re absolutely amazing and Good luck with the PhD
I this Cecila and that other chick Jessica are just full of BS. I also believe the reason those two are now on Nubian’s blog is because they have been publically embarassed. And now they are trying to ’straigthen” things out. Too late Cecilia and Jessica your true colours have been shown.
Nubian, I’m sorry.
For whatever it’s worth, I said what I said because I felt like a friend was under attack.
I have realized my mistake, I have left Feministing, and I am not going back.
I harbor no illusion that anyone will accept my apology, but there it is.
Cheers,
TH
wow, samhita, i never even mentioned your name, but you have something to say. it’s great that you seem to want to defend every thing someone says about feministing lately–but like i said, i felt lied to by two people that represent feministing, not you.
no one is doubting the “hard work” that feministing, jessica, celina, or anyone else from the site does. but this is not about hard work; it’s about being asked to post a comment in “solidarity” for feministing, when the “solidarity” was missing when i asked for it.
Nubian, I’m so glad you are busy and concentrating on your work. I am looking forward to seeing the awesome films you create and whatever else you choose to share with the world.
Celine, the fact that Nubian was civil to you after disagreeing with your actions on that thread tells me that Nubian has integrity. She is willing to treat you well, despite past disagreements. Another reason I admire Nubian.
Hi,
for what it’s worth. Nubian, Jessica, Celinia, Samhita, and many (if not all of you/us) are aiming for the same thing, aren’t we? A better, safer, happier world. This is no joke, no idealistic bullsh-t — this is, in the radical sense, what we are working toward. It’s our collective project. If you think that’s cheesy, or immature, then you have missed the plot.
So — and this is NOT said enough, probably because people are embarrassed to say positive sh-t out loud — stop this negative, useless, divisive battling. It is killing our cause.
You know who wins when Nubian and her allies goes to war with Feministing and theirs? Every anti-feminist out there. You know why? Because they’re united.
Work together, people. If we’re really all that when it comes to social justice, why can’t we figure out how to combine our forces?
Henrystu wrote: “Work together, people. If we’re really all that when it comes to social justice, why can’t we figure out how to combine our forces?”
I agree, Henrystu, that combined forces is the goal.
The best way to do that is for those of us in power: white people, to learn from our mistakes and avoid them in the future. We can’t do that if we avoid negativity. Let’s look at the things we’ve done wrong honestly. Let’s look at our racist training and unlearn our bad habits. Let’s see the pain we’ve caused and not look away, but embrace the fact that we’re human and we make mistakes.
If we’re lucky, the people we’ve harmed by our cluelessness will accept us and work with us in the future. That is an awesome gift.
Hey, I’m glad to see you are not gone nor driven into silence by racism in the world and the blogosphere!!! That is one thing I can cross off my reasons to be angry list and that I will be promptly correcting on my blog.
Good luck finishing in graduate school! And best of luck in transitioning to this side of academe.
I knew something didn’t sound right. WTG Nubian!
Thanks for clarifying your choice to leave the blogosphere… hmm saying that sounds so weird, like it’s a weird place. Your voice is missed, but I know you have bigger and better fish to fry, keep up the hard work sistah.